The Muse

2011-12-14T20:09:00.003+08:00

Well it did.

I can't believe it's that time of year again. And in my final year of law (during the Christmas season, which is just downright cruel) and graduation around the corner. A frightening thought, being thrust into the world the working class.

I've been asked to blog a long post about the rest of 2011 since my last post in July.

But there's always later haha!

A few snippets:

1) the Cleo-Clinique Competition and Zouk Bar Cocktail Affair

2) the various offers and events that have transpired since the aforementioned snippet

3) the nittygritty details of my love life

4) the trips to China, Hong Kong, Disneyland and Singapore

5) and of course my poignant thoughts on the new year as always.

Yes I'll get around to it. Sometime. My computer crashed back in July, the reason I got lazy.

BUT. I has a new friend now, whose name is Barry, and since Barry is an iPad and all, he is most obliging when it comes to this sort of thing. Except when it comes to uploading photos. And forwarding emails for some reason. He has issues with that.

SO. I'll end off by saying Tschuss.

slice of life

2011-06-16T14:48:00.003+08:00

am wading through and cleaning my room, post-exam (the reason i haven't been blogging in months) and it has its benefits. self-discovery is one. i've found i'm a sentimental nut; there are clothes and books, bits of paper, ticket stubbs, and knickkacks that i've been reluctant to throw or give away simply because they form a little bit of the past, the last remnants of happy times that i now only remember in fragments.

i found this little note, from an old friend:

hello there :)

christmas this year has been a season of mixed emotions for both of us eh? well, life has to go on i guess, i won't say it's been easy coping with the split but i'm happy we're still good friends :) hope you like the simple gift i got you. I have one myself.. you can treat it as a friendship band i suppose, it could also symbolize all the good memories we shared together. merry christmas alana!

i miss that friend.

there have been other finds. another note:

for the deserving sweet soul that you are!

that i happened one day to find attached to a snickers chocolate bar dropped into my bag, that signified another significant happening in my life, along with a little green pin shaped into a heart that someone gave me while we were both seated next to each other waiting for a train.

there was the newspaper drawing of me someone gave me when i asked her to write in my 13-year-old autograph book, the post card and letters from the sweetest japanese pen-pal ever, the little coin and five dollar note from Hong Kong a friend brought home from a trip to Disneyland, and the card four friends had all signed, cementing the friendship we'd formed in the 8th grade together. there were the daily post-its someone had thoughtfully written for the time spent apart, and the dried rose petals kept from valentine day's past from friends and more-thans.

i doubt i'll start throwing them away now. but i might at least keep them in neat little piles of sentimental slices of life. i'm good at neat little piles.

you're yesterday's child

2011-02-02T16:58:00.006+08:00

i used to have time to sit at the computer and fiddle with my blog posts for hours on end (it sounds sad, but sadly i'm somewhat of a perfectionist like that) but lately there just has been too little, or too much going on for me to do that, and i now lack the energy to sit down and make things pretty.

i worry i might be coming down with dullness or something, from lack of the outdoors or any form of decent social interaction.

oh well. i really miss aerosmith.

and my bubby

who is the cutest thing, sending me that.

oh i wrote a haiku

bubby is the man
he has impressive forearms
the abs are coming.

~

and with that,
i will thank the genius behind power-steering,
and be on my merry way.

2010-12-31T18:50:00.007+08:00

we're in the last leg of 2010. 5 hours to go.

on a side note, today i put coloured contacts on for the first time. hurray for firsts!

~

here's to a fantastic, victorious 2011.

mad love to all the special, wonderful people (and Person) in my life

i know it's going to be another beautiful year with all of you

and i love you dearly

to my Savior, thank You for all I've received.

it's only fitting i bring the New Year in with You.

off to service!

~

Punzie!

2010-12-10T21:48:00.005+08:00

oh yes i did.

i watched Rapunzel and it is the sauce of AWESOME.

who cares if it's cg and not hand-drawn? it is beautiful disney stuff anyway.

Punzie here is so pretty.

swinging on her hair and everything.

AND I WANT TO TAKE FLYNN RIDER
(aka Eugene Fitzsomethingortheother)

HOME WITH ME

just to huggles him because he is so very, very adorable.

and because he is voiced by the equally adorable Mr. Scruffy here, Zachary Levi.

whom i love a lot.

not to mention I want a Pascal of my own.

watching it with the gang (Jude, Syarifah, Vinho, i know you wanted a shoutout) last week Friday was great. The afterparty at Gasoline was pretty wonderful too (Thasha!)

we will do it again! :DD

~

Christmas is coming.
I think i'll take pictures of my house for the next post for the heck of it.

and Kath is back! :D

less than a week to my week in Singapore. Have lots of prep to do.

I'm going to miss bubby a lot. and my family too.
not being with them on Christmas Day kind of sucks.
but i will look at the bright side of things,
am looking forward to seeing Claire, Jon and the everyone else.

and gotta make things special for the King, you know?

~

"poppin' bottles in the ice, like a blizzard
when we drink we do it right gettin' slizzard
sippin' sizzhurp in my ride, in my ride like Three 6
now i'm feelin' so fly like a G6"

on a side note i find these lyrics thoroughly fascinating

acoustic insanity

2010-11-20T20:24:00.012+08:00

it amazes me that i actually like this.

as fond as i am of boyce avenue, the masterpieces that are their acoustic arrangements, and their willingness to cover almost every genre on the music scene today, i'm not inclined to think they can make good on every cover they attempt.

i thought 'dynamite' would flop, cause let's face it, it's taio cruz and with lyrics like

I came to move move move move
Get out the way of me and my crew crew crew crew
I'm in the club so I'm gonna do do do do
Just what the **** i came here to do do do do

i doubted alejandro's mellow vocals could pull off, you know, the emotional complexity behind those deep, and no doubt meaningful words.

but yeah i like it! alejandro makes them pretty hammers and pulloffs, and it doesn't even matter sometimes that he's singing utter mainstream rubbish.

~

i really, really want a Taylor.

they're not particularly flashy, but the sound is brilliant, and really crisp.

and watching all these covers on youtube makes me want to do one with somebody considerably more musically inclined than i am, cause then their sheer epicness could make it worth watching.
and it's fun.

~

i also want more chocolate-covered raisins.

~

just pristine

2010-11-14T22:05:00.003+08:00

i've noticed my blog has taken on a rather somber tone the last couple of months, as compared to before, when it was all happy and colourful (quite literally)

i don't like that, cause i'm quite the happy person actually. it's just sad that the happiness i experience encompasses the simple everyday joys that just make me forget about blogging altogether. it's sad then when i actually am depressed or contemplative i feel the need for an outlet..

then people get the idea i'm this sad little emochild. AM NOT AN EMOCHILD PLZ.

anyways

i had a good day with you today,

JUDE,
SHARIFAH, (forgive the misspelling, dear, if you ever read this)
VINHO,
CARINE,
SUHANA,
TIM,
RAVIN.

and Vinho, i know you read my blog, you sneaky little thing

Thank you so much for the deepavali goodies, I love you muchly! <3

~

"kept falling over
kept looking backwards
went broke believing
that the simple should be hard

all we are, all we are
and everyday's a start of something beautiful"

granite

2010-11-12T21:52:00.003+08:00

tasted salt on her tongue
look past the granite she keeps
she melts, it scatters

he lingers, he moves
underneath
do you feel him clench your heart?

the whispers sweep, he calls
into the night, into the wasted space,
she slips

scribbled to 'The Moon' by Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova.

nowhere complete, nowhere perfect.
just an instant feeling.

i'm considering tumblr.
emoposts seem to fit better there.

2010-11-11T19:17:00.002+08:00

where are you, Alana?

It's my birthday

2010-11-02T23:21:00.000+08:00

yay!

well technically there's only a hour left to it. but i had a fantastic day. i liked the facebook wishes.
even though you know half of them only wished you cause they saw your name on the Birthdays list on the top right hand corner. it still makes you feel uberloved.

i love my family. i love my friends. i love my munchkin.

Thank you God, for such a beautiful day. I wouldn't have turned 20 any other way.

Bunjee jumping would have been nice though.

who?

2010-10-26T23:00:00.004+08:00

man. the things an entire day of classes will do to your state of mind.

and it is not an exaggeration. 10 a.m to 9.30 p.m. four two-to-three-hour classes.

i might be dead.

~

but as i finish up my (usual) last-minute packing for Bali,

i comfort myself with the thought of four days in a foreign land with occasional massages and pedicures, sandy beaches, and at least two or three pairs of new flipflops.

~

it has been brought to me attention that i have exactly a week till my birthday.

hoorah :D

i guess the thought of presents make me at least a little comforted in the face of my new age.

~

well i'm off. i took an hour in between this post talking to you.

munchkin.

:X

a thought.

2010-10-25T18:24:00.006+08:00

you know, i think i might be taken for granted a lot.

i think it's because i don't really like to complain if i don't like something or if something bothers me. it is a problem that stems mostly from the fact that i don't like to burden people and not wanting to make a big deal out of my issues with things.

it's also because i don't want to appear selfish.

this is not being self-pitying. i actually really hate that. this is simply an observation and reflection sort of thing.

maybe i should try being selfish once in a while.

grr.

But!

BALI on WEDNESDAY!

which gives me something to be happy about (:

~

2010-10-19T22:07:00.000+08:00

i wonder about you, sometimes

meteor shower

2010-10-18T22:02:00.002+08:00

i can finally see that you're right there beside me

i am not my own
for i have been made new

please don't let me go
i desperately need you

~

curse my unhealthy obsession with Owl City.

why must you be so adorable with your lyrical art, Adam Young?

2010-10-15T19:04:00.001+08:00

you told me you were sorry.

i miss you, though

oksana

2010-10-13T18:24:00.004+08:00

i have been told i look like this person.

i do not look like this person.

admittedly this is a better picture of her than most. she's more plastic in the others.

quite literally.

~

to her credit she was prolly really pretty before and just couldn't handle the truth of impending oldness

resolutions

2010-10-02T10:57:00.008+08:00

i did a lot of thinking yesterday.

not to say i don't do a lot of thinking everyday. i do. just that yesterday, i got struck in the face by the unforgiving hand of an epiphany, just like Homer did in The Simpsons Movie.

epiphanies are not very nice.

but i made a list. it comprises what i plan to change about myself, what i want to achieve, what i've already made a conscious decision to do. and some stuff for the heck of it.

It's good to have lists, i think.

Be more assertive, more responsible, more reliable.

Be less sensitive, less selfish, less absent-minded.

More dedicated, organized, systematic. 4 B+'s for Part One! A Second Upper!

Care less about people who don't give a crap.

Be more receptive to other people's feelings.

Learn how to curl hair grrr!

Practice guitar often, and write more songs.

Be less easily hurt.

Learn to lower my expectations of people a little.

Clubbing! Ladies Night! :D (at least once, for pete's sake)

Get my priorities straight, and don't sweat the small stuff.

Spend more time with God, and get closer to Him.

Bikini body plz

Revamp wardrobe, but spend less -_- More budgeting.

Treasure each and every person in my life for who and what they are, and to judge less.

Love more.

list is subject to addition, and change.

i have been actually pretty happy for the most part; mostly because i've reconnected with old friends, and made new ones.

in light of the other problems i've had thrown in my face, i think i will take a page out of Michelle Branch's book; and step back for a while

~

"if i just breathe
let it fill the space between
i'll know, everything is alright
if i just breathe
every little piece of me
you'll see, everything is alright
if i just breathe"

'lo.

2010-09-25T20:39:00.002+08:00

between the insane driving lessons, random hot gay Gaspard Ulliel look-alikes, disgusting cat-calling perverted policemen, and up-and-down involuntary moodswings i have been experiencing lately, i have not had time to update. it is rare for me.

i'm sure i'll think up something really witty to add in the next one.

i'm hungry.

when the lights die

2010-09-10T15:14:00.005+08:00

If you go now, please leave the light on
just say goodbye now and leave
if you go now, you've turned the right to wrong
It's getting hard now to breathe
It goes on and on, but not in my head

This time, when the lights die
and there's nothing left to say
that's when you'll need me

If I break down
and you see me fading out
I know enough now to make it right
If I don't stop
I just keep on waiting up
Well I know enough to make it right

It goes on and on
But not in my head

This time, when the lights die
And there's nothing left to say
That's when you'll need me
This time, when the lights die
And there's no one else to blame
That's when you'll need me

And now
With the lights turned down
And your eyes half open
I know you don't see me
When I'm standing out
If you just turn around
And keep your eyes wide open
I know you might feel me here

I know you don't see me
You don't feel me
But keep your eyes wide open
Your eyes wide open

~

adore Boyce Avenue. their lyrics are so profoundly meaningful. I loved Broken Angel, too

here we are now, entertain us

2010-09-08T21:38:00.005+08:00

home alone.

it's not, traditionally, especially fun. today, however, i was seized by a unconventional desire to take pictures of random things around the house.

now i am not the sort to go around taking pictures of random things. and this camera (which doesn't even really belong to me) is by no means a DSLR (DLSR?) or anything cool like that.

but as i recently discovered (curtosy of Clarissa Ellice Rae, photo goddess supreme) the MACRO button on the camera is many kinds of awesome. and so, swept away by the coolness of it all, i sort of chronicled in part one of the many days i spend at home.

i am not what you'd call a photographer. but what is sad is that even though the pictures were really clear in the camera, and the details popped out like the MACRO button is designed to make happen, which fascinated me in the first place - blogger kills the resolution. which is sad.

first i spent a quiet morning savouring the lovely Seven Deadly Sins that Eu Chern very kindly gave me last week Friday. :D

IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.

i'm thinking i should have captured more of her chocolatey goodness.

then i tried the cupcakes from Delectable that i bought for Mom for her birthday, which she refused to eat -_-

they were - interesting.
might have been because they were a couple months old

then the idiot box for the next four and a half hours! :D
look it's the lady from Hairspray. Her name eludes me all of a sudden. which does not happen.

then, downstairs, to hit the chapter packs.

which obviously did not happen immediately, because of said fascination with MACRO button.

the cute little lamb ring i bought from chernbaby :D

(no it is not a pig. please do not ask.)

the weather was perfect, so eventually i went outside. i sat on the porch bench -

with my beautiful, colour-coordinated notes-

and took pictures of my pretty highlighters.

they are breathtakingly lovely.

of course after that i eventually did manage to get down to some good work. finished the first chapter of Tort, with pretty notes and everything.
i am somewhat proud of myself.

~

then the family came home and we went out for dinner and i have nothing else of interest to talk about.

i did have a reason for posting all this meaningless nonsense though.

i promised, i deliver:

you there, with the plastic heart.

i remember.

~

i'm not thinking straight today

2010-09-01T19:51:00.010+08:00

which sucks.

firstly, omg. it is September the first. where is the time going? WHERE?

it has occurred to me that i only have two months left to be nineteen. two months left to adolescent obliviousness. rats!

secondly, my head really hurts. i think it is because of the decrease in the number of neurons in my brain from overuse of the idiot box. i need mental stimulation again. i might eat these words soon enough.

on the flipside i watched a cheerleading flick today that didn't make me want to eat my own head with its cliched stereotypes. :D

Fired Up.

of course while it was still another cheerleading flick and it kind of did have cliched cheerleading stereotypes, i felt no immediate need to harm myself. maybe it was because it included some hardcore testosterone for a change.

or perhaps it was just him.
look it's the flying guy from Heroes! ok i didn't know that till wikipedia.

tastee.
i don't know why i felt compelled to spell that with a double e.

in other news,

i really like this!
http://hometoomuch.com

his Royal Cuteness is all grown up!

Sarah Claire-Marie is 12!

Uncle Nigel and Aunty Shirley have hit their silver year? golden year? bronze year?

(they're 25.)

I actually kind of really dig my family.
Yay!

~

gosh there are a lot of pictures in this post.

one more won't hurt.

it amuses me.

Wolverine said beyotch teehee

Testimony

2010-08-29T15:38:00.008+08:00

I am a Part One student as of September.

ecstatic as i am over this achievement, it wasn't by my own strength that I managed to pass everything with the results I got, but by His.

it was because of Him, that before my papers my friends could ask me, "why are you so calm?" even when just a day before, I was ready to pass out from fear.

it was because of Him, that I could pass my toughest subject with better scores than the rest, when I walked into that exam hall not knowing a darn thing.

it was because of Him, that with all the unfortunate news that came to me when the results were out, I could stand firm without breaking, knowing that He delivered somehow.

He delivered!

Bs for Public and Contract? When I'd missed a full question for Public and didn't remember a case going into the hall for Contract? And the fact I was able to pass the other two without writing the hundred and one essays they told us we needed to do in order to pass? (I do not condone skipping those, actually, it would have made things a whole lot easier.)

It had to be a miracle. Bottom-line.

I couldn't have made it through without my friends and family and church members, who prayed and believed and encouraged all through the exam period. I love you guys!

Most of all, if I haven't made it clear enough already, all glory to God, my Saviour, my Refuge, my Protector, my Rock. You made it happen, and i will always be grateful.

~

on a less serious note there has been a lot of idiotic highly embarrassing random dancing happening lately.

LIEK OMGOSH I PASSED ALL MY EXAMS WUUUTTT

life is beautiful.

~

Taking advantage of my recent good-naturedness is my sister Ashley, who has chosen to parade me in bikinis and cocktail dresses and sarees with heavy makeup splashed on my (otherwise pale, she says) visage, and place me in awkward positions as per Top Model to take snapshots for her next big calendar project. I is now a calender girl. Teehee

ok on some small, minute level, i think i might actually kind of like it a little, though i really don't know how people do this for a living. It's tiring, and i don't take direction and heavy makeup and awkward positions very well in general.

~

oh right Saturday.

support our local bands!

underheadlights
Coalition Of Covers
Largest Rabbits On Tour
Unabashed
fourletterstory
Army Of Three
Altered Frequency

you are amazing and you do us proud!
keep churning out that beautiful musical fusion.

~

i was thinking about some stuff yesterday.

I have a lot of big plans for the remainder of the year and 2011.

Gonna do it, and do it the right way.

~

"Don't give up you're not thinking
Don't give up just keep seeking
And I, I am for you
And I, I will love you
And I, I am for you
And I, I will save you"

2010-08-22T20:02:00.006+08:00

you don't think i want to be here
more than anything else in the world?
i would fight for it if i could
but the other end of the ultimatum convicts me
what is to do what is right?

you say it is my decision
but you work behind the scenes
you don't think i realize what you do?
you think me naive?
i thought we were supposed to have everything
i have news for you, i don't think i want to be alone

i need Your strength, Lord, because it carries me
i need Your direction, Your will, Your purpose
just lead me on the way i should go
I will follow.

be someone

2010-08-12T23:42:00.003+08:00

You got a fast car
I want a ticket to anywhere
Maybe we make a deal
Maybe together we can get somewhere

Any place is better
Starting from zero got nothing to lose
Maybe we'll make something
Me myself I got nothing to prove

You got a fast car
I got a plan to get us out of here
I've been working at the convenience store
Managed to save just a little bit of money
Won't have to drive too far
Just cross the border and into the city
You and I can both get jobs
And fin'lly see what it means to be living

See my old man's got a problem
He lives with the bottle that's the way it is
He says his body's too old for working
I say his body's too young to look like his
My mama went off and left him
She wanted more from life than he could give
I said somebody's got to take care of him
So I quit school and that's what I did

You got a fast car
Is it fast enough so we can fly away
We gotta make a decision
We leave tonight or live and die this way

I remember when we were driving driving in your car
Speed so fast I felt like I was drunk
City lights lay out before us
And your arm felt nice wrapped round my shoulder
And I had a feeling that I belonged
And I had a feeling I could be someone, be someone, be someone

You got a fast car
We go cruising to entertain ourselves
You still ain't got a job
And I work in the market as a checkout girl
I know things will get better
You'll find work and I'll get promoted
We'll move out of the shelter
Buy a bigger house and live in the suburbs

I remember we were driving driving in your car
Speed so fast I felt like I was drunk
City lights lay out before us
And your arm felt nice wrapped round my shoulder
And I had a feeling that I belonged
And I had a feeling I could be someone, be someone, be someone

You got a fast car
I got a job that pays all our bills
You stay out drinking late at the bar
See more of your friends than you do of your kids
I'd always hoped for better
Thought maybe together you and me'd find it
I got no plans I ain't going nowhere
So take your fast car and keep on driving

I remember when we were driving driving in your car
Speed so fast I felt like I was drunk
City lights lay out before us
And your arm felt nice wrapped round my shoulder
And I had a feeling that I belonged
And I had a feeling I could be someone, be someone, be someone

You got a fast car
But is it fast enough so you can fly away
You gotta make a decision
You leave tonight or live and die this way

i'm hoping you can keep a secret

2010-07-18T18:15:00.002+08:00

i thought it was about time i went out with the crazies

Live long and prosper

you know you think that's hot.

and he is just so adorable w/out specs thar

here she is showing me what a Spritzer looks like.

oh how i love them.

~

hey i promised y'all i'd post the pictures, don't complain! *glares

was so lovely meeting up with them again.
how anybody could be so interested in the current mishappenings of my life i just don't know, but they were, and it touched me.

chernbaby don't leave for Leeds! D:
and Jackie for the record Spock or not i think you are adorable. :D

~

Singapore tomorrow, for a week.
Must remember to bring camera.

i'm gonna miss some people so much
what's wrong with me? sigh

~

until the day i die
i'd spill my heart for you

HAR

2010-07-06T21:46:00.019+08:00

2/07/10 - first manicure evah WHOOP

and just cause it's plain hilarious.

perfect. XD

even funnier cause she had no idea what i was doing

~

so finally, pictures from Penang Trip 2010. for kicks

Grandma!! :D
she really wanted to go. last time she went was 15 years ago, so it was long overdue.

Daddy so cute.

Hotel lobby ; Holiday Villa.

beds were amazing.
but i had to share with Ash so :|

look at her pretty haiiiirr

eheh :|

man, so beautiful

posing - in the blood.

i took this. i like it.

i love ?

yuuum

the women

last night's dinner

and granny says bye to penang

driving tomorrow. YAY

who cares if you disagree
you are not me
who made you king of anything?

possibly irrelevant

2010-06-29T17:51:00.004+08:00

as it were, i was trespassing my sister's bedroom and computer, and found some lost pictures i hadn't seen before.

i deduced two things.

1) I miss my hair.

i know it's good i've experienced a change and all, with the bob. people have said it looks nice and all and i should keep it.

but i long for for the days when i have my long, dark, heavy, temperamental, messy, character-filled mane back. i long for the days when i can throw my head back and feel it swish behind me, like the slow-motion ladies in Baywatch.

It just ain't the same. I was born to have a head of mess and curl. Sorry, Mum.

2) I miss my extended family dearly.

we don't get to meet up as much as i'd like to. not nearly as much.

~

Perhaps tomorrow, pictures from penang, for the heck of it.
I did, after all, break into my sister's room for them.

~

which of the bold-faced lies will we use?
i hope that you're happy
you really deserve it
this will be the best
for both of us in the end

epiphany

2010-06-19T00:51:00.002+08:00

"We try so hard to be the same - when God worked so hard to make us DIFFERENT."

i'm gonna try my best to be what i was meant to be.

i've typed it on my blog.
it must happen. (:

~

"these days
i wish i were six again"

i can't keep loving you

2010-06-05T22:35:00.008+08:00

I was born in the arms of imaginary friends

Free to roam, made a home out of everywhere I've been
Then you come crashing in, like the realest thing
Trying my best to understand all that your love can bring

Oh half of my heart's got a grip on the situation
Half of my heart takes time
Half of my heart's got a right mind to tell you
That I can't keep loving you
Oh, with half of my heart

I was made to believe i'd never love somebody else
I made a plan, stay the girl who can only love herself
Lonely was the song I sang, 'til the day you came
Showing me a better way and all that my love can bring

Oh half of my heart's got a grip on the situation
Half of my heart takes time
Half of my heart's got a right mind to tell you
That I can't keep loving you
Oh, with half of my heart
With half of my heart

Your faith is strong
But I can only fall short for so long
Time will hold, later on
You will hate that I never gave more to you than half of my heart
But I can't stop loving you
But I can't stop loving you
But I can't stop loving you with half of my
Half of my heart
Half of my heart

Half of my heart's got a real good imagination
Half of my heart's got you
Half of my heart's got a right mind to tell you
That half of my heart won't do

Half of my heart is a shotgun wedding to a groom with a paper ring
And half of my heart is the part of a girl who's never truly loved anything

Half of my heart
Half of my heart
Half of my heart
Half of my heart
Half of my heart
Half of my heart

~

i'm backk.

not too bad a week, i just had.

The Prince of Persia, random games of Gin Rummy, chocolate sundaes, and daily walks around the neighborhood were good for my soul, as it turned out.

witnessing national squash players at practice, new friends and the occasional celebrity sightings were added bonuses.

i think i might go back again (to my aunt's, i mean) tuesday. work on my painting. despite the mad heat and the accident-happy psychos that seem to reside in Ampang, it's a pretty peaceful place. and it's growing on me, in more ways than one

~

cause i felt like it,
some pics from the mountains in Cameron's i took in February, with my phone cam.

the sky was so pretty that day.
when you're staring at an expanse like this
it's kind of hard not to feel just that much more hopeful

~

sunway lagoon

2010-05-31T18:58:00.010+08:00

(how sad we didn't get to take many pictures -_-)

it was the bomb anyway.

considering that price-wise it could be somewhat of a rip-off, and the surf beach was closed, and they don't allow you to bring food in anymore, which is totally unwarranted - i had a great time. Thasha, Vinho and Puteri made it great.

went on the Pirate's Revenge twice in one go. went on the Tomahawk three times! amazing stuff. couldn't have done it had it not been a Monday.

best part was the lagoon was practically empty this time. so much so that they wouldn't let us go on the rides a few times, if there weren't at least five people on them. most of the time, there wasn't, and we had to wait, but we didn't mind (:

i find going to these places with people like my friends very rewarding, cause they're sporting. of course Vinho was shouting death threats at us the first time she tried the Pirate's Revenge (which was friggin' hilarious) but she came to love us again, in time.

met some very nice tourists . some were from Iran, who were very friendly, and even though i couldn't understand a word they spoke to me, we formed a language all our own - i smiled a lot, and they laughed. it was all good. struck up a conversation at The Lost City Of Gold with a Sabah girl too, who was on holiday with friends. people were very nice yesterday for some reason. maybe the weather.

had a lot of favour too, which i was very thankful for. even the rain which came halfway through the trip had its advantages, we sat under the long resting deck near the tidal pool and talked ourselves silly through wet clothes and chocolate ice-cream, which was mad in itself.

Thankfully it stopped, and we got to try the water rides we paid good money for. (:

i'm glad that after all the manic stress of planning around stuff and getting everyone to come it actually did work out, cause when we start work there may not be enough time.

i needed a little more insanity in my life.

thanks you guys, for the random fits of maniacal giggles, for the threats to call consumer rights at government office, for the good-naturedness at my attempts at sexual harassment.
yesterday was a scream.

LOVE YOUS :D XO

oh and look at the pretty bangles i got from Diva. just cause.

~

But under skinned knees and the skid marks
Past the places where you used to learn
You howl and listen
Listen and wait for the
Echoes of angels who won't return

bitten by the camwhore bug

2010-05-25T14:42:00.009+08:00

i'm so ashamed.

amazing what flashing irrational anger, severe boredom and a hot beat makes you do.

~

your love, your love, your love is my drug

because school shirts are the shizzay.

~

i'm such a nut.

ash, i borrowed your camera. and your room.

i wuvs you :3

you waste my time

2010-05-25T11:59:00.002+08:00

TIME WASTER!

rilo kiley is not gay

2010-05-22T18:26:00.004+08:00

ai
yam
free!

but oh so very bored.

talked to parents about working during the hols. TGI Friday's is an option. It's not so much about the cash; earned enough of that from my part-time job, but i think it's good experience. and it's got good atmosphere. i've never been much of a paper-pusher.

it's the kind of thing that makes you wonder why you're doing law

edit://

need to get back in shape. get the abs back.

it'll have to be pilates for now, since i can't find jillian michaels, my lifesaver.
sigh.

~

It is the light on science fiction
reads just like a shoddy disease zero one three times
the size of the people that came before me and
you and what we'd do for money this greed and jealousy turn to need.
See, I'm a man with a plan to use my hands, touch your nose,
you're the girl who wanted more.
Now afraid the story of free from love to a lie.
The clover under your feet is shooting stars in the night.
The people under your feet are shooting stars in the night.
The people, all that you meet.

They're living in a dreamworld.
You're livin in a dreamworld
You're livin in a dreamworld
You're livin in a dreamworld

countdown begins

2010-05-06T21:03:00.002+08:00

i'm going to make it.

i'm going to make it.

it's not difficult.

~

God has a plan. God has a purpose. God has a way.

gonna make it.

everything is fine

2010-04-24T20:29:00.002+08:00

so why am i still so unhappy?

there's this mess of something in me that i cannot properly express now, and it's driving me crazy. can't really describe it better than that.

..well what the blog's for.

and with that i shall listen to the La's, who were quite remarkable in their own right, considering their most popular song may have been about getting high.

"there she goes
there she goes again
coursing through my veins
and i just can't contain
this feeling that remains"

whoa ah oh, ahh ahh

2010-04-12T23:43:00.010+08:00

1. What have you been doing recently?
Criminal Law. Lots of it.

2. Do you ever turn your cell phone off?
At night?

3. What had happened at 10.00 am today?
breakfast and Ben 10: Alien Force. (for educational purposes, I promise! -_-)

4. When did you last cry?
couple weeks ago.

5. Believe in fate/destiny?
Destiny.

6. What do you want in your life right now?
an IQ of about 5000. An acoustic guitar. Perhaps a little emotional support.

7. Do you carry an umbrella when it rains,or just put up your hood?
Umbrella. I usually forget the hood entirely.

8. What's your favourite thing to have on your bed?
green star plushie. he loves me.

9. What bottom are you wearing now?
Moda shorts.

10. What's the nicest text in your inbox say?
there are many nice ones. (:

11. Do you tend to make a relationship complicated?
not really. i do have my moments. the occasional bursts of irrational anger contributes.

12. Are you wearing anything you borrowed from someone?
no, I'm pretty sure it's all mine.

13. What was the last movie you caught?
Bring It On: In It To Win It. Gag.

14. What are you proud of?
Body: legs.

Ability: breakdance move!

15. What does the oldest message in your inbox says?
something insignificant, i'm sure.

16. What was the last song you sang out loud?
Cheryl Cole's "3 Words"

17. Do you have any nicknames?
it's predominantly Banana. People these days have no imagination.

18. What does your last received text message say?
"R u going 4 claz today?"

19. What time did you go bed last night?
Twelvish.

20. Are you currently happy?
more or less.

21. Who gives you best advice?
my parents do pretty well.

22. Do you eat whipped cream straight from the can?
not recently, but it sounds like a pretty good idea right now.

23. Who did you talk on phone last night?
AHAHAHAHAHA. nobody.

24. Is anyone bugging you right now?
no.

25. What/Who was the last thing/person to make you laugh?
Rabbit!

26. Do you wear toe socks?
ugh, they'd look ghastly on me.

27. Who was the last person you missed a call from?
Superman.

28. Have you ever had your heart broken?
Uhuh

29. What annoys you most in a person?
cruelty. and bragging.

30. Do you have a crush on anyone?
i has a crush on many people

31. Have you ever done cocaine?
cocaine? -_-

32.What is the colour of your room?
orange. the blinding kind.

33. Would you kill someone you hate for a billion dollars?
i couldn't stomach it. and then there's my conscience.

34. Do you believe in the saying of : talk is cheap?
I've lived it.

35. Who was the last person to lie in your bed?
myself.

36.Who was the last person to hug you?
ehehh

37. Did anyone see the last person you kissed?
i'm pretty sure people have set eyes on him since then, yes.

38. Do you have a life?
i'm doing a tag. 'Nuff said.

39. Have you ever think someone died,when they really didn't die?
YES! like so many people!

yeah i think about death a lot.

40. What is the reason behind your profile song?
profile song? -_- that is like, so friendster.

41. Who was the last person you saw in your dream?
i'm gonna say a chinchilla. yes i'm aware it says person. i simply do not care.

42. Last time you smiled?

half an hour ago?

43. Have you changed this year?
physically, a little.

44. What are you listening to right now?
the fan.

45. Are you talking to someone when you're doing this?
all by my lonesome.

46. Do you walk with your eyes opened or closed?
well given the new fringe i'd say partially closed?

47. Is there a quote you live by?
" Remember, you're only young once, but you can be immature forever."

48. Do you want someone you cannot have?
used to.

49. Have you ever played an instrument?
sure i have.

50. What was the worst idea you've had in this week?
i never have bad ideas, wachu talking.

51. What are you doing last night at 11 pm?
criminal law. -_-

52. Are you happy with your love life right now?
pretty darn content, yes.

53. What song best describes your love life?
..

54. Does the person know that you like him/her?
normally they see me coming a mile away.

55. Who always make you laugh?
the men in my life are pretty frickin hilarious.

56. Do you speak other language other than English?
some Chinese, some Tamil swear words, some Japanese. The traditional Malay.

57. Favourite website?
i'm sort of addicted to Diary Addictions now. Pretty clothes. :D

58. What's your middle name?
Don't got one. IT'S A TRICK!

59. What are you doing tomorrow?
College yeeeyy

60. What do you think you are like?
A contradiction of sorts.

61. Who will you choose to die with?
i'd rather die before anyone i know goes.

62. Where have you been today?
the kitchen. my bedroom. my sister's bedroom. the bathroom. my parent's bedroom. the hall.

it's been productive.

63. What game do you play often?
MIND GAMES

64. Who are you missing right now?
NOBODEH STOP ASKENG

65. If you have to choose between friend and love,who will you choose?
..a lover can also be a friend?

66. What are you doing right now?
LOL

67. Which primary school are you from?
Sri KL, SKS 9.

68. Name 3 colours that you like?
blue, green, white

69. What emotion you like to show?
I LEIKS TO BE EMO ALL THE TIME BECAUSE PEOPLE LIKE ME THAT WAY

70. What is your life to you?
significant, at least one day.

71. If you have something troubling you,what will you do?
let it fester.

72. Who did you last chat in msn today?
i don't chat.

73. Who do you admire most?
i admire qualities of many people. there's not really a one.

74. Which month are you born in?
November.

75. How are you feeling right now?
a little drained. disorientated by the flying words in my noggin.

76. What is the time now?
6:57 p.m.

77. What kind of person do you think the one who tagged you is?
she's a nut.

78. What colour did you use to dye hair?
sort of goldish?

79. Why are you doing this test?
becausethemeaningoflifeis42

80. What do you do when you're moody?
i'm quiet. tend to make more cynical and sarcastic remarks than usual.

81. At which age you wish to get married?
late twenties. NEED TO ENJOY FIRST MAH

82. Who is most imporant to you?
Family. Friends. God.

83. If today is the last day of your life,what will you do?
cliffdiving. it can't hurt.

84. Who is the person you trust the most?
God's never done me a wrong turn. My sister's up there too, long with the folks and a few new additions..

85. Do you believe in seeing a rainbow after a rain?
most of the time.

86. If you have a dream come true, what would it be?
Everyone would be cool with everyone, and some things would go back the way they used to be

87. What is your goal for this year?
Pass the frigging exams. Master the blooming guitar. Make it through recordings without scratching my voice out completely. World domination would be nice.

88. Do you believe in eternal love?
I believe it takes two people who are willing to sacrifice for the other. It's not that simple.

89. What feeling do you love most?
contentment is where it's at.

90. Do you really think it's global warming now?
Do YOU really think it's global warming now?

91. What feeling do you hate the most?
being ignored sucks.

92. Do you cherish every single friendship of yours?
i do.

93. Do you believe in God?
oh yes.

94. Who cares for you most?
God. parents. Maybe some other people.

95. What do you think is the most important thing your life?
I'm going to put a spin on this one and say the most important thing in my life should be God.

96. What will you bring when you fight?
my fists. maybe combat boots.

97. What have you done regretted doing in your whole life?
not picking up an instrument. i would totally rock now if i did.

98. What would you feel if no one longer cared for you?

well there's a no-brainer.

99.What if your boyf/girlf two-timed you?
he'd better get used to wearing an iron chastity belt like the one in Robin Hood: Men In Tights.

All the time.

100. How do you feel now?

HONGREHHH FOR SPAGHETTI

RIP

2010-04-08T14:28:00.002+08:00

Who in your phone has a heart after their names?
Nobody.

Would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh?
I've never liked someone who couldn't. Not sure.

What was the last thing that made you laugh?
Some random facebook group about ugly people. I know it's cruel and i feel really, really bad, but some of their terrible comments were actually kind of hilarious -_-

Do you think you’ll have the same best friend a year from now?
I can only hope.

What was your last thought before you went to bed last night?
My lost autograph book. :(

Anyone you’re giving up on?
Yes.

Have you ever thrown a cell phone in anger?
I'm not insane. Or Naomi Campbell.

Is there someone who you can spend every minute with and be happy?
(:

Who was the last person you hugged?
..

Is there someone who meant a lot to you at one point, and doesn’t now?
Yerp.

Does everyone deserve a second chance?
Not everyone.

Have you ever lost someone who meant a great deal to you?
You could say that.

Have you ever received a text message that made you cry?
Oh yes.

Do you believe that there are certain circumstances where cheating is okay?
Cheating is never okay. Though given the fact that we're human i can understand how it happens sometimes.

Are you lying to yourself about something?
If I am I haven't found out yet.

Are you happier now or three months ago?
Happier in some things.

Last person you went to the mall with?
La familia

What’s special about today?
Nothing in particular, yet anyway.

What does your last message say?
"Your mom!"

no, seriously.

Connection between you and the last person who text messaged you?
ooh look a moth (runs away)

Last person you had a conversation with on the phone?
Superman.

~

Back to the books!

"Your sweet moonbeam
The smell of you in every single dream I dream
I knew when we collided, you're the one I have decided
Who's one of my kind"

hoi

2010-04-03T16:35:00.001+08:00

EASTER RABBIT

hoppity. hop

there was this joke once

2010-03-30T21:05:00.003+08:00

that i read.

more like a riddle really.

Q: What is a thing that belongs to you, but your friends use it more than you do?

..

..

..

A: Your Name.

~

It's quite true, actually.

I was pondering it today. Pondering my name really.

So I tested it out on my tongue for a bit.

Alana. Al-lah-nah. A- LAH-na. AAAA-lana. Ala-NAH.

and the weirdest thing was that it sounded so very foreign!

I mean you don't actually think about these things when you're introducing yourself to people. It's like "Hey I'm So-and-So." but it really doesn't quite hit you.

~

so was just wondering what makes me an Alana. How it defines my being exactly.

I mean you gotta think about these things sometimes, right?

"Handle bars, and then I let go, let go for anyone
Take me in, and throw out my heart and get a new one

Next thing we're touching
You look at me it's like you hit me with lightning"

between a rock and a hard place

2010-03-22T21:20:00.002+08:00

Lord, what do I do?

good stuff.

2010-03-20T23:18:00.010+08:00

View Full MyPersonality.org Profile

0 50 100	%
Openness	86%
Conscientiousness	43%
Extraversion	60%
Agreeableness	73%
Neuroticism	51%

Trait Explanations

In order to interpret your raw trait scores, they were compared to the first 350,000 people to complete the full MyPersonality Big Five questionnaire. This allows the way that you described yourself to be put in the context of how other people respond to the questionnaire. You should remember that there are no fundamentally good or bad personalities, as each trait description has potential advantages and disadvantages. To help you reflect on these, you have also been given some questions which ask you to consider the implications of your trait descriptions. Other people viewing your personality profile will not be able to see these.

Openness

This trait refers to the extent to which you prefer novelty versus convention. Approximately 85% of respondents have a lower openness raw percentage than yours. From the way you answered the questions, you seem to describe yourself as someone who is far more intellectually curious and sensitive to beauty than most. You might say that your beliefs are individualistic and frequently drift towards the unconventional, and that you enjoy your imagination and the exciting places it takes you!

Reflective question: What place do you think that tradition has in society (if any)?

Conscientiousness

This trait refers to the extent to which you prefer an organised, or a flexible, approach in life. Approximately 16% of respondents have a lower conscientiousness raw percentage than yours. From the way you answered the questions, you seem to describe yourself as someone who is impulsive and whimsical, and fine with it! From your responses it appears that you would say that sometimes decisions need to be made quickly, and that you make them quicker than most! You would say you are zany, colourful, and just generally great fun to be with... as long as someone isn't relying on you to get some work done.

Reflective question: How do you feel when you are working with someone who is very organised?

Extraversion

This trait refers to the extent to which you enjoy company, and seek excitement and stimulation. Approximately 44% of respondents have a lower extraversion raw percentage than yours. From the way you answered the questions, you seem to describe yourself as someone who enjoys and actively seeks out social occasions, but would say that they're not everything. You might say that sometimes it is nice to step back for a while and have a quiet night in.

Reflective question: What role do you tend to play in a team? (at work or in social activities)

Agreeableness

This trait refers to the way you express your opinions and manage relationships. Approximately 73% of respondents have a lower agreeableness raw percentage than yours. From the way you answered the questions, you seem to describe yourself as someone who people get along with easily. Your responses suggest that you would say you are considerate and friendly, and think that other people are generally honest and decent.

Reflective question: Is your co-operative preference ever taken advantage of by others?

Neuroticism (Emotional stability)

This trait refers to the way you cope with, and respond to, life's demands. Approximately 69% of respondents have a lower neuroticism raw percentage than yours. From the way you answered the questions, you seem to describe yourself as someone who is generally calm. Based on your responses, you come across as someone who can feel emotional or stressed out by some experiences, however your feelings tend to be warranted by the situation.

Reflective question: Which situations make you feel under pressure and which situations do not?

Jungian Typology Estimate

Research has found that the Big Five personality traits are significantly related to Jungian Typology (e.g. the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator). This is a popular alternative personality framework regularly used for personal development, in which Types are used rather than Traits. Based on your Big Five trait scores, your estimated Type is shown below (if you have already taken a Jungian Typology test and got a different result, this can be changed from the More Options section).

INFP

Introverted iNtuitive Feeling Perceiving

INFPs focus much of their energy on an inner world dominated by intense feeling and deeply held ethics. They seek an external life that is in keeping with these values. Loyal to the people and causes important to them, INFPs can quickly spot opportunities to implement their ideals. They are curious to understand those around them, and so are accepting and flexible except when their values are threatened. They have the ability to see good in almost anyone or anything.

Personality Matches

myPersonality has found that the Big Five traits are related to various life behaviours and choices.

Please bear in mind that these are very specific matches. Few tests will even try to give such specific information, so cut us some slack if it is not perfect for you! :-)

Based solely on your personality trait scores, the top three closest college major matches for your personality (out of 60 majors and "undecided") are:

#1 Photography

#2 Liberal Arts

#3 Music

i was afraid i was becoming a cliche. Maybe i needed confirmation of my individuality or something.

I guess I had a contemplative sort of day.

Anyway it's pretty accurate stuff, for a test that took me 7 minutes.

sheer orgasmic bliss

2010-03-18T21:16:00.001+08:00

and yet i mustn't!

ter-happy

2010-03-11T23:23:00.002+08:00

lost my earphones. WHY?

had a really weird dream last night that i'm regretting telling someone.

people are leaving, people are changing.

panic mode has set in for the exams.

and

..

yet i'm happy.
almost delirious with it.

and it's ridiculous cause there's really not much to be happy about nowadays.

cept for a few things.

~

LIKE LOLCATS!

<3

and driving!

i drove for the first time today. although the engine died on me like four times and i almost knocked down four people and was giggling like a maniac the whole way thus leading my instructor to think me mentally unsound (has anyone noticed how much that word is being used these days?) it was amazing. i think i could get used to it.

eventually.

~

hey,

you.

SM.

thanks. (:

~

gotta get up outta here

2010-03-06T23:31:00.006+08:00

I gotta shake it off
Cause the loving ain't the same
And you keep on playing games
Like you know I'm here to stay
I gotta shake it off
Just like the Calgon commercial life
I really gotta get up outta here
And go somewhere
I gotta shake it off
Gotta make that move
Find somebody who
Appreciates
All the love I give
Boy I gotta shake it off
Gotta do what's best for me
Baby and that means I gotta
shake you off

~

Amali today, after two years of procrastination.

Then six and a half hours of revision.
:D <----(fake elation.)

~

Am somewhat angry now. It feels oddly liberating.

Here:

a laugh on me. or at least a snort. a chortle? -_-

http://www.lolcats.com/view/20091

she might just love him

2010-02-27T18:15:00.007+08:00

Adam Young, she means.

also known as Owl City.

the melodies are the cutest. and his tracks have the most fantastical, scenic, childlike, colourful lyrics i have ever encountered in my life. Even the sad ones sound happy.

Circle me and the needle moves gracefully
Back and forth
If my heart was a compass you'd be north
Risk it all cause I'll catch you when you fall
Wherever you go
If my heart was a house you'd be home

Cheer up and dry your damp eyes and tell me when it rains
And I'll blend up that rainbow above you and shoot it through your veins
Cause your heart has a lack of color and we should have known
That we'd grow up sooner or later cause we wasted all our free time alone

The stars lean down to kiss you,
And I lie awake I miss you
Pour me a heavy dose of atmosphere.
Cause I'll doze off safe and soundly,
But I'll miss your arms around me
I'll send a postcard to you dear,
Cause I wish you were here.

I watch the night turn light blue,
But it's not the same without you,
Because it takes two to whisper quietly,
The silence isn't so bad,
Till I look at my hands and feel sad,
Cause the spaces between my fingers
Are right where yours fit perfectly.

I'll find opposing new ways,
Though I haven't slept in two days,
Cause cold nostalgia chills me to the bone.
But drenched in Vanilla twilight,
I'll sit on the front porch all night,
Waist deep in thought because when I think of you.
I don't feel so alone.
I don't feel so alone.
I don't feel so alone.

As many times as I blink I'll think of you... tonight.
I'll think of you tonight.

When violet eyes get brighter,
And heavy wings grow lighter,
I'll taste the sky and feel alive again.
And I'll forget the world that I knew,
But I swear I won't forget you,
Oh if my voice could reach back through the past,
I'd whisper in your ear,
Oh darling I wish you were here.

We wrote a prelude
To our own fairy tale
And bought a parachute
At a church rummage sale

And with a mean sewing machine
And miles of thread
We sewed the day above L.A.
In navy and red

We wound a race track
Through your mom's kitchen chairs
And fought the shadows back
Down your dark basement stairs

I lit a match, then let it catch
To light up the room
And then you yelled as we beheld
An old maroon hot air balloon

I'll be out of my mind
And you'll be out of ideas
Pretty soon
So let's spend
The afternoon in a cold hot air balloon
Leave your jacket behind
Lean out and touch the treetops over town
I can't wait
To kiss the ground
Wherever we touch back down

La la la la la laaa
La la la la la laaa

We drank the Great Lakes
Like cold lemonade
And both got stomach aches
Sprawled out in the shade

So bored to death you held your breath
And I tried not to yawn
You made my frown turn upside down
And now my worries are gone

I'll be out of my mind
And you'll be out of ideas
Pretty soon
So let's spend
The afternoon in a cold hot air balloon
Leave your jacket behind
Lean out and touch the treetops over town
I can't wait
To kiss the ground
Wherever we touch back down

I'll be out of my mind
And you'll be out of ideas
Pretty soon
So let's spend
The afternoon in a cold hot air balloon
Leave your jacket behind
Lean out and touch the treetops over town
I can't wait
To kiss the ground
Wherever we touch back down

(this one reminds me of the work of deviantart's B1nd1, The Balloon Adventure, which is mind-blowing)

http://b1nd1.deviantart.com/gallery/#Balloon-Adventure-Comic

I guess what draws me most to his songs is that he writes them with such imagination.. you can tell he's got to be some form of artist. He paints such beautiful pictures. Even the titles of his songs are delicious.

If My Heart Was A House

Rainbow Veins
Vanilla Twilight
Fuzzy Blue Lights
Hot Air Balloon
Swimming In Miami

~

in other news i have obtained a working scanner. YAY!

I SKETCHED TINK MUAHAHA

don't knock it or i knock you

when unstoppable force meets immovable object

2010-02-12T19:00:00.002+08:00

what happens?

sympathy

2010-02-08T21:42:00.001+08:00

Stranger than your sympathy
And this is my apology
I killed myself from the inside out
And all my fears have pushed you out

And I wished for things that I don't need
(All I wanted)
And what I chased won't set me free
(It's All I wanted)
And I get scared but I'm not crawlin' on my knees

Oh, yeah
Everything's all wrong, yeah
Everything's all wrong, yeah
Where the hell did I think I was?

And stranger than your sympathy
Take these things, so I don't feel
I'm killin' myself from the inside out
And now my head's been filled with doubt

It's hard to lead the life you choose
(All I wanted)
When all your luck's run out on you
(All I wanted)
And you can't see when all your dreams are coming true

Oh, yeah
It's easy to forget, yeah
When you choke on the regrets, yeah
Who the hell did I think I was?

And stranger than your sympathy
And all these thoughts you stole from me
And I'm not sure where I belong
And no where's home and I'm all wrong

And I was in love with things I tried to make you believe I was
And I wouldn't be the one to kneel before the dreams I wanted
And all the dark and all the lies were all the empty things disguised as me

Mmm, yeah
Stranger than your sympathy
Stranger than your sympathy

little observations

2010-02-06T21:14:00.008+08:00

as well-meaning as train ads warning against dengue are, stepping into a train covered in pictures of mosquito larvae is not comforting.

~

if someone with really bad BO plonks himself next to you on the train, or raises his arms in front of you as you are sitting down, you can avoid hurting his feelings by breathing through your fist. it sort of works.

~

eye contact drives KL perverts crazy, especially if they have already started serenading you. signs of irritation are also not the best of ideas.

~

ear plugs and rock music are not good on the road, even when the lights are red, considering how fiercely determined the bus drivers are to try and run you over.

~

if you have just treated yourself to one of those suction acupuncture sessions, i'd avoid the tank top, because the suction marks on your back are kind of scary.

~

if you don't want the glue of your pore pack to melt and form sort of a retarded white butterfly on your nose, you might want to stay away from the hairdryer.

~

"Elevation" by U2 is, indeed, kind of awesome.
"Sympathy" by the Goo Goo Dolls and "DOA" by Foo Fighters are alarmingly difficult to get hold of.

~

studded Romp jeans are the shizz and i want them. they work extremely well on low butts.

~

pshyyeah

2010-01-28T20:18:00.005+08:00

ooh look, anozer tag.

1) Are you really ready for 111 questions?
i've had longer.

2) Was your last REAL relationship a mistake?
never.

3) Afraid of commitment?
it's the foundation upon which i base my relationships, actually.

4) Who did you last say “I love you” to?
Ash, i think, but that was more for sarcasm.

5) Do you regret it?
i never regret sarcasm.

6) Have you ever been depressed?
i didn't think i could ever be really depressed til this year. so yes.

8) Are you a boy or girl?
about 70% girl.

9) What is your relationship status?
single. but to quote the facebook status, "it's complicated."

10) How do you want to die?
would it be weird to say just after plummeting off a cliff but just before hitting the ground?

11) What did you last eat?
a cheese sausage sandwich. it's really not as ick as it sounds.

12) Played any sports?
love futsal. last played captainball. :D

13) Do you bite your nails ?
used to.

14) When was your last physical fight?
when i was 13, 6 odd years ago.

15) Do you have an attitude?
somewhat.

16) Do you like someone?
i like a lot of people.

17) What is your real name?
MILLIPOP KLOMPET

19) Are you gonna get high later?
i'm pretty sure i'm not.

20) Do you hate anyone at the moment?
i don't think so.

21) Do you miss someone?
i might.

22) Twirl or cut your spaghetti?
i chomp them off.

23) Do you tan a lot?
not a lot, but easily.

24) Have any pets?
fish. how interesting!

25) What exactly are you feeling?
numb.

26) Ever eaten food in a car while someone or yourself is driving?
sure i have.

27) Ever made out in the bathroom?
..

28) Would you take any of your exes back?
i don't know. i don't think it's possible.

29) Are you scared of spiders?
not scared so much as grossed out, i think.

30) Would you go back in time if you were given the chance?
yes.

31) Do you regret anything from your past?
who doesn't?

32) What are your plans for this weekend?
dinner in KL, yay!

33) Do you want to have kids?
yes.

34) Did you ever kiss someone whose name starts with an M?
yes. Mom.

35) Do you type fast?
occasionally.

36) Do you have piercings? How many?
yes. four.

37) Want any more?
YES.

38) Can you spell well?
more or less. supercallifragillisticexpeellydocious

maybe not.

39) Do you miss anyone from your past?
in terms of friendship, yes.

40) What are you craving right now?
peace of mind.

41) Ever been to a bonfire party ?
no.

43) Have you ever been on a horse?
Moondancer :D

44) Kissed someone in a pick up truck?
no, but if he was hot, rugged and shirtless..?

45) Have you ever broken someone’s heart?
i think so.

46) Have you ever been cheated on?
no, fortunately.

47) Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry?
i'm.. not too sure with that one.

48) THERE'S NO QUESTION.
.. there's a newsflash.

49) Would you live with someone without marrying them?
girlfriends, yes.

50) What should you be doing ?
studying, probably.

51) What’s irritating you right now?
le imbecile

52) Have you ever liked someone so much that it hurt?
i have.

53) Does somebody love you?
sure. family.

54) What is your favorite colour?
turquoise, blue-green, topaz

55) Have you ever changed clothes in a vehicle?
several times.

57) Do you have trust issues?
with the opposite gender, yes.

60. Do you have a good relationship with your parents?
a healthy one.

62) Do you believe your most recent ex thinks about you?
maybe sometimes.

63) Who was the last person you cried in front of?
perhaps my sister.

64) Do you give out second chances too easily?
depends on the person i'm dishing it out to

65) Is it easier to forgive or forget?
forgive.

66) Is this year the best year of your life?
it's really too early to tell. (:

67) What was your childhood nickname?
Big Bird. (yes i know how it sounds, hardy har har.)

68) Have you ever walked outside completely naked?
have you?

70) Do you believe everything happens for a reason?
sometimes.

71) What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night?
i said a little prayer

73) What is bothering you?
personal issues. the nature of some of the questions in this tag.

74) Have you ever been out of your province?
well yes.

75) Do you play the Wii?
I WANT TO JESSICA ALBA

76) Are you listening to music right now?
i should be.

77) Do you like Chinese food?
it's the best!

78) Do you know your father's b- day?
do YOU know your father's birthday?

79) Are you afraid of the dark?
no, it's when i'm most comfortable.

80) Is cheating ever okay?
no. inevitable sometimes, though.

81) Are you mean?
i believe so.

82) Can you keep white shoes clean?
HAHAAHAHA no.

84) Do you believe in true love?
it sounds corny, but yes.

88) Do you like the outside?
very much indeed.

89) Are you currently bored?
yes.

90) Do you wanna get married?
someday.

91) Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby?
'baby' is overrated, but i can learn to deal.

92) Are you hungry?
no, i'm just comfy.

93) Have you ever made out for more than an hour straight?
.. is that even physically possible?

94) What makes you happy?
music, thriller rides, friends, family and God.

95) Would you change your name?
naw. it's caused me trouble, but it's me.

96) Ever been to Alaska?
um, no.

98) Do you watch the news?
not really. i listen, though.

99) What’ s your zodiac sign?
scorpio, the intense one. LOL

100) Do you like Subway?
it's allll-riigghht

101) Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed?
Daddy? never.

102) QUESTIONS ARE GOING MISSING.
i hadn't noticed.

103) Do you talk like your friends?
not exactly.

105) Have you ever seen someone you knew & purposely avoided them?
yes.

106) Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around?
i have several.

107) Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to?
Tim.

108) Does it matter if your boyfriend/girlfriend smokes?
it does.

109) Who’s the last person you had a conversation that lasted for more than 10 mins with?
Tim, also.

110) Favorite lyrics right now?
"how can i let you know, i'm more than the dress and the voice?"

Angela Aki - Eyes On Me

111) Hey, you're done!
hey, i am done!

would it be shameful to admit that i actually like getting tagged?
it's like having fulfilled your soul-searching quota for the day.

score

2010-01-24T21:06:00.002+08:00

hey, good looking.

how you doin'?

i see us getting to know each other really well in the not-too-distant future.

~

really well.

been while.

2010-01-21T20:22:00.009+08:00

If I were a month, I’d be December.
If I were a day of the week, I’d be Friday.
If I were a time of day, I'd be 9 in the afternoon.
If I were a planet, I’d be the Moon.
If I were a sea animal, I’d be a Starfish.
If I were a direction, I’d be North.
If I were a piece of furniture, I’d be a beanie bag couch.
If I were a liquid, I’d be Ice-blended chocolate.
If I were a gemstone, I’d be Sapphire/Emerald.
If I were a tree, I’d be a Willow Tree.
If I were a flower, I’d be Frangipani.
If I were a kind of weather, I’d be the comfortable kind.
If I were a musical instrument, I’d be a Guitar.
If I were a color, I’d be Turquoise.
If I were an emotion, I’d be recurring.
If I were a fruit, I’d be Bananas. (why fight it?)
If I were a cartoon character, I'd be Lola Bunny.
If I were a sound, I’d be Music.
If I were a celebrity, I'd be Rachel McAdams.
If I were an element, I’d be Water.
If I were a car, I’d be a Volkswagen Beetle.
If I were a place, I’d be Hawaii.
If I were a sight, I'd be one to behold.
If I were a material, I’d be fuzzy.
If I were a taste, I’d taste like supernova.
If I were a scent, I’d be Burberry's 'The Beat'.
If I were an animal, I’d be a nightingale.
If I were a body part, I’d be the legs.
If I were a facial expression, I’d be perpetually silly.
If I were a song, I’d be the Song Of The Heart.
If I were a pair of shoes, I’d be Chuck Taylor.

stolen from Liz cause I thought it was dope.

~

yeah i heard tags are overrated.
this is me not caring.

~

oh look Zachary Levi.

"My job on my set, I believe, is to first just love people and gain that trust with people where they know that I really do love them and care about their well-being, so that when they are running into problems, they will hopefully, at some point, come to me and ask me, 'What is your peace all about? What is your comfort all about? Where do you get your love? Where do you get your talents?' And I can turn to them and say without blinking, 'Jesus Christ'".

one for the team, Zachary Levi!

my word he's got pretty eyes.

~

i want that new Chipmucks: The Squeakquel Soundtrack.

no, i'm not kidding.

the harmonies blew my mind. considering all three of the Chippettes' singing voices were recorded by one woman, Janice Karman (who is nearing 60 i believe) i think it is actually worth a listen. the woman's got some serious pipes on her.

Corinne Bailey Rae's "Put Your Records On" was especially well done, i thought.

sort of wish, actually, that they'd done a remake of "Girls/Boys Of Rock and Roll".

~

"you're living in a man's world, they tell us
but we ain't gonna buy it
what they're tryin' to sell us now"

hey, hey.

2010-01-19T14:09:00.003+08:00

well it'd be an understatement to say i've had an insane couple of days.

sort of an emotional roller coaster. although i suppose i can't recall having any of the highs.

depression doesn't quite suit me.

it does happen when you're in danger of losing people.

next post, i shall snap out of it!

~

Okay i realize how that might confuse.

anyway i met Chern-baby (aka Girlfriend) on the lrt yesterday, and we had a long talk wallowing in our own self-pity together.

it was magic.

apparently he went through a lot of the stuff i'm going through now.
he's got pretty good advice:

You Know You're Nothing

I guess it is true that you cannot please everyone in your life.
There are bound to be people who would love you for who you are.
There are bound to be people who will hate you for who you are not.

There are people who would love to be your friend.
There are those who would do nothing more than to want to hate you out of spite.

To be honest, I don't really care if you hate me or not.
Because everyone is entitled to their own point of view and a right to their own opinion.
But it would be better if you would keep your negativity to yourself.
Because at the end of the day, your words, no matter how true or twisted they are, will hold a sway over another person.

And that is how hatred is generated.

So what if he/she hates me? I don't think that there is a need to make a big deal out of it. If you would keep your big mouth shut. I think everyone involved would have wasted less life thinking and over-analysing the what-ifs and why's. But then again, you are immature and horrendous. Obnoxious and plain dim-witted. So listening to one side of the story is your forte.

Go ahead and judge me. I welcome it.

College is just a phase.
So are you.
And the reason for your hatred.
Is the fact that you're just jealous for whatsover reason.

Birds always peck on the sweetest fruit.

The thoughts that meander in my head are subconsciously caused by over-thinking. This is something I wish I could just get rid off with the aid of drugs and prescriptions. If only.

how i love Chern-baby.

as rationally in-your-face as always.

just plain sick

2010-01-16T17:17:00.003+08:00

i'm just one person.

i can't take this much hate.

they tell me i shouldn't care.

it's unfortunate that i do care, irrevocably.

you know that thing with the onion and the layers? i don't judge you. why judge me?

wish there was big, celestial pair of scissors i could borrow to just cut all the crap out of my life right now.

~

darn it, i hate whining.

prom was fun though, haha.

the dress dilemma worked itself out.
i had fun with some great people.
almost felt quite back like my old, carefree self.

oh look, Aqua.

"AI YAI YAI I'M YOUR LEETLE BUTTERFLYYY
GREEN BLACK AND BLUE
MAKE THE COLOURS IN THE SKYY"

i am exhibitionist

2010-01-10T17:42:00.010+08:00

HAR. not.

well ok the tag they gave us read 'EXHIBITOR', but wouldn't it have been funny walking around with the others with the word 'EXHIBITIONIST' on our lapels?

ha. ha ha.

..this was the only thing keeping me going the entire bothersome day, okay?

~

so we were at the Star Education Fair yesterday, 'exhibiting'.

it was.. Adam C-less, this time, so it was not quite as fun as the last one. I received no free hampers, or 8-gigabyte pendrives.

but i bonded with people, had some good laughs, and talked to this really cute blue-eyed fair-haired incredibly polite guy who had this lopsided smile that kind of made me crazy for a second.

so it's all good.

aw don't they look all cute and prefessional thar

to my immense horror, i discovered they blew my picture up (another one from the same roll as the one from the brochure) and put it in front of these two gigantic lightboxes, so everyone could see me dreamily grinning down at them as they walked unsuspectingly past.

needless to say, i stayed very much in the backgrounds.

assembling brochures with the Thasha and Ken Yee, though, was not as bad as one might think. I had a pretty good time. it was handing out the brochures that i didn't quite enjoy. for some reason, the people i handed them out to were not very obliging.

i think it's the dreaded first impression i give people. like OMG SNOB.

and i don't deal well with rejection, is that so terrible?

i was glad at least that the brochures i did hand out weren't the ones that had my face on it, because standing behind the aforementioned lightbox i was stationed in front of was bad enough.

anyhoo, considering i almost died from stomach cramps yesterday, i think i did pretty good work.

~

in other, unbelievable news.

two years ago, when i was but a naive 17-year-old trying to make it through my last year of high school, i went for a voice audition. it wasn't planned, or anything; Dad was there to submit his baritone, and we happened to be there. So Dad was like, "why don't you give it a go?" and the nice American man in charge was all encouraging, so i gave it a shot.

they made me read the lines of a chick. and not those of the female variety, either.oohhh yes.

it was something along the lines of:

"Oh dearie me! I've lost my way, and I can't find my way to the chicken coop. Will you help me find the chicken coop?"

I am not even kidding.

but. after two years.. i got a callback! they called my dad and asked me to come in for an audition for this new animated series.

not too shabby for a baby chicken, i thought.

being immortalized in cartoon motion - would be pretty cool, i guess.
and who knows? maybe it's a stepping stone type-thing.

~

my dad would have a fit if he knew i was posting this.
but i need to say it.

four churches bombed. cars being targeted and destroyed because of the religion of the owner. oppression taking place outside church doors under the guise of 'peaceful protests'.

and no arrests? no extra measures? just a "stop it now"?

i don't know what quite to say that will express how absolutely disgusted i am with the situation and the morons who are responsible, but i think Yi Wern, whose blog i was reading by chance earlier, sums up my take on the issue quite remarkably:

"So.. Malaysia's burning churches now? What next, Malaysia? Suicide bombings? Or maybe a reenactment of 9/11? Three words: Third world mentality. Grow the fuck up already."

i will say this: i'm sure the big man's real proud of you. Idiots.

~

new year, new heading.

2010-01-07T19:02:00.006+08:00

i thought it sort of fit.

hungry. burger!

edit://

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=swLME-21l2k

Lois Van Baarle is, quite frankly, genius.

2010

2009-12-31T13:13:00.018+08:00

wow.

while i'm not exactly thrilled for the next year, as it will mark the two decades i've been alive (and they say it's all downhill from there) and with those two decades come more responsibility, which i don't much like, i have to admit it's kind of awe-inspiring. It was just yesterday that i was 10, and at a party to bring in the new millennium, and looking back in retrospect i guess it's sort of amazing how time really does fly.

i'm feeling sort of philosophical today.

cameron's was much fun. it was exactly the break i needed. we were there three days, at this quaint little cottage thing on a hill,where we had barbeques, played Tekken 5 on the PS2 till our fingers shrivelled up on us, and played baseball out on the grounds.

I hit a home run! :D IT WAS AMAZING.

family time is therapy. although things got a little itchy at the baseball game - seeing as we're all so competitive. it's a good thing we love each other.

wouldn't you know it, i stumbled onto some old High School Musical 2006 pics.

I'm such a sap.

Gabby, amazing as always.

Recording

Mini-rehearsal at Zarul's mom's studio

First rehearsal at main hall

Nic was so adorable.

I still think this was the absolute best part of the whole thing.

splashed with flour.
(Gabby and Taylor!)

Practice before the thing

Ryan and Sharpay

Choir.
Li Hui: we look like presents! :D

Mich

Troy and Gabby

I actually really liked this pic, basically because i do not look awful, and Wilson's distance from me actually kind of made me smile.

But the resolution GAR!

we're all in this together.

all the pics i had of the real thing have mysteriously disappeared. am upset.
the ones posted are stolen from Izzie's multiply account, but she mostly had the rehearsal ones only. crud.

back to the sappy-ness.

it's been 3 years since the thing.

3 YEARS.

was looking through it and thought again how different everything's turned out to be
since i was 16.. people are different.

I'm no longer the same, myself. In addition to the transitions made from the EXTREMELY bad hair i had, and the additional weight and eventual muscle i packed on.. well i suppose i'm not quite as naive. It's kind of sad not being naive any more, because then you really understand the reality of things, and more often than not, the reality of things are not good.

philosophical, heehee.

~

anyway i just really miss the compadres. everyone.
i heard some are back, and i still haven't seen them.

Kath, Nicole, Izzie, Chui, Tani? Tiff?

and all the others (you know i love you),

wait for me!

~

New Year's Eve midnight service today.
am worship-leading.

the sad truth is that after so long, it still freaks me out.

i hope it works out.

in any case,
family and friends,

I'll see you on the other side.

~

"if i find in myself, desires nothing in this world can satisfy
i can only conclude that I, that I was not made for here"

beanies.

2009-12-19T00:11:00.006+08:00

12+ a.m
i'm in singapore. yay!
i have never seen so many thighs in my entire life.

Ash: Thais?
Me: No. Not T-H-A-I-S. Thighs. T-H-I-G-H-S.
Ash: Oh. What?
Me: You can't tell me you haven't noticed. Every other girl we see bares them in shorts. It's all I've seen these past two days. All different shapes and sizes. I think I'm going to be seeing them in my dreams tonight.
Ash: ..ok.

I suppose it's more accurate to say i've never seen more shorts in my entire life, but whatever.

met up with clare, roselyn and aunty ellice just now.

forever 21 is awesome.
that's my final word.

missing home and all my friends and family!

hmm. i guess that wasn't my final word.
oh well.

10.19 p.m

met up with Mels.

she told me i looked like Alice Cullen, like wth?

i missed her. she's not coming down this year.

drat.

paid 40 bucks for a shirt i didn't even try on.

am so *^&^$% angry right now.

last day's tomorrow. church.

gotta run.

there is goodness in the world

2009-12-16T20:46:00.004+08:00

i witnessed it.

i was driving (well, being driven, really) to this wedding on saturday, when i spotted this little girl in the car next to us.

i couldn't really tell what race she was, but she was cute. i smiled at her.

and what do you know?

she smiled BACK!

that might not seem terribly significant to you, but do you know how many kids i've smiled at who just shoot this stony-faced, 'what-the-heck-is-wrong-with-you' look back at me?

it's not very encouraging.

but she did. it was so adorable. then her car sped up ahead, and i waved.

she waved back! i was not mistaken! :D

amazing. i had all but given up on smiling at malaysian kids. i have renewed hope.

law lecture on tuesday was much fun.

friends all came, and after the lecture (which was only about an hour) we stood outside, eating mandarin oriental cuisine, c hecking out the law students, and making fun of the head of the UM, who just as good as fell asleep on his chair, on the stage, during the lecture.

man.

good times.

~

saw my brochure today.

well not MY brochure, you understand.

it was kind of strange seeing it. i thought i looked drugged.

my friends were really sweet about it though.

found out that i have pictures in three of the four brochures printed. so i took them all home for the folks, who want to dish them out to my relatives.

how can i blog about this without sounding conceited?

~

cut my hair saturday. it ended up Alice Cullen, which i really, really liked, and it was all sexy and tousled and awesome, and then i washed it and became, well, a woolly mammoth.

and the boys said it looked cute, too! :( :(
special shoutout to my boyfriendforaday Benjamin!
who will never read this.

anyway.

cut my hair, AGAIN, just now.
Mom didn't like Alice Cullen so much.

it's even shorter and highlighted.

my hairdressers, shida and hani, were really nice. they gave me the celeb treatment (:
did my nails and everything!

i didn't want to seem ungrateful, but i'm really sad it's gone. the new look's not really me. i'm messy. i like messy.

this new style's so.. well, not messy. it's immaculately neat actually.

i'd show you, but i can't. missing USB cable.

can't wait for my hair to grow back.

~

singapore tomorrow.

supposed to be packing actually.